So, I'm awake. I am awake even though I got to sleep at four, and the room is spinning, I am shaking, my head is throbbing, and I shouldn't be awake.
But I'm very glad to be awake, because I'm grateful for all the awesomeness that ensues when I wake up - namely, my life. I'm not always this grateful to wake up, and I'm slightly bemused that I feel that way with a massive hangover where I don't always feel it when I feel hale and hearty.
I'm also grateful for the chemical in question that led to the state of intoxication that got me this hangover, because said intoxication resulted in a completely unexpected, awkward, and revealing conversation.
I had a conversation with a friend who is more a friend of my boyfriend's than one of mine (although he's one of mine, too, by this point), and we were both pretty schnookered. Basically, he pulled me aside to talk about what impact I had had on The Boyfriend's life, and to...I don't know...make sure that everything possible was being done to make him happy, not because he thought I wasn't trying, or even that I wasn't succeeding, but because there are changes that I brought into his life that are not necessarily positive (not all of them, just a few), and he wanted to talk about where I stood on some of those things, and, essentially, to make sure that I love his friend as much as he does, and that I want to see him happy and fulfilled, too.
(It sounds a lot worse than it was - it wasn't a confrontation, just a gentle discussion, in the style of the person who initiated it, who is a kind, thoughtful person. I also happen to know that The Boyfriend doesn't read this - otherwise I'd keep my trap completely shut, because, while it doesn't explain the conversation by a long shot, the content is confidential by request. He just knows that the friend in question and I holed ourselves up for a while and talked, and that it was about his happiness.)
And, where, I think, with anyone before, I probably actually would have been angry about the conversation, and about being asked about the impact I could have, and would have felt imposed upon and overly scrutinized, all I was thinking about this was how very, very glad I am that he has people in his life like this who love him this much - enough to ask the same of others in his life. It really just ended up with both of us finding out how much the other loves him, and goopiness, and stuff.
(I normally hate repetitive language, but the words "care for" couldn't be substituted; straight "love" is really all that works here, because that's what it be, folks. Maybe I should learn Greek so that I can get all the bases covered, but I'm lazy today.)
Where loving someone is wonderful, I'm finding it twice as good to know that that person has others in their life who share that sentiment, and want the best for them. If the enemy of your enemy is your friend, then, logically, by extension, those who love someone you love (and don't hoard them - see my custody situation as an exception) seem to be included in that love because of that common interest.
And I might have figured that out later than I should have, but I got there, I think.
Oh, yes, it will be a good year.
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